Phenomenal!!!

So, I'm writing again. If I'm not careful, this might become a regular habit. I came across a girl whom I found attractive from the very beginning. Whenever she would pass by, I could not help but look her way. The more I tried to look away, the more I wanted to look her way. It's laughable but it seems that I am a nerd after all.
I like to keep things simple. I try to be civil and I never try to be charming. That is with good reason. I'm not exactly what you would call "cute". Still, I came in today, tired and drained. I came across a girl whose eyes were as blue as the oceans that surrounded Bohol and whose hair was as red as the fire trees in Fort Bonifacio during February. She said "hi" and I said "maaah". That was the funniest thing that has ever happened to me. I found it very laughable. I fixed her computer and I smiled to myself. I asked her if she wanted to see "Transformers" and she said "no". I laughed to myself. It was a good day. It was a bit hard but it was a good day.
I would not change this day if I were given a choice. Would I rather have her said "yes"? I don't know. Maybe. Having this day told me that the world was still there. That there were still things that were happening in my life. Today told me that I wasn't lost and that I wasn't just standing still and watching the world pass me by. Her saying "no" told me that I am who I am. Today told me that I am not defined by the day and I am "I". It was a good feeling. She was, to me, the most beautiful girl in the office. I just asked her if she wanted to go see "Transformers" with me. I got shot down just like that. I feel so happy. It reminds me of the time back in the Philippines that I was going to the store to buy Coca-Cola for my family's evening meal. The pathway that I was crossing was laden with moss and I was trudging on it. I have never slipped on it but, that night, I did. I laughed so hard because I fell on my butt. It reminded me that there are still surprises in life. It reminded me that there's always the earth for you to fall on. It reminded me that life is not always a struggle and that life isn't always a fight. It reminded me that the best thing about falling is getting back up. It reminded me that I'm not alone and I'm not above everyone else. Most of all, it just reminded me that I'm still happy and that water was creeping into my shorts and that I'm covered in moss. It's one of my fondest memories.
Today, I was able to see into my own soul. I was able to see the face behind the mask. I was able to face up to my insecurities and tell them that I will not be held back by you. I shall rise above once more and will be more than what I see. It is a great feeling.
Wondering what if is the worst feeling of all. Hypothetical situations are the worst because you have to work with probabilities all the time and you never know how it would have turned out. I'm glad I did what I did and I got shot down. I do not wonder "what if" anymore. I know for certain this time. This was the same when I gave this girl back in college a dog doll. She had it on her desk at the time. Of course, someone kidnapped the Squirtle that I had on my desk. Man, am I glad I didn't have the Fire Valkyrie on my desk that time. I was always playing in my head what would happen if I did that. On their last day of internship, I gave her and her friends a black forest cake. Why? Because I had money to spare and I really liked all of them. They were good people. I didn't care what Mike said. Unfortunately, I had a deadline that I was chasing so I just presented her and her classmates with the cake and I went down to do my job. She saved me a piece of cake and brought it down for me. I said it was for her and she was forcing me to have the cake. I told her I wasn't eating the cake unless she kissed me. She totally dared me and said "Only after you finish this slice". I totally froze and was dumbfounded. She walked away smirking. In her mind, she won. In retrospect, I should have collected. Nonetheless, that was one of the memories that I can bring back to mind and laugh out loud about. Yes, some people might call it lame but to me, it's just funny. Throughout everything that I've been through, it is these awkward moments in my life that I find comfort in aside from the memories of my family. These are the thoughts that I can laugh about. I love remembering them. I love remembering how I asked this one girl in college every day if she would go out with me. I passed by a flower shop and saw Malaysian Mums, fresh ones in blue and yellow, and I bought them and gave them to her in front of the entire school. I was red-faced and flushed because I gave her exactly when classes were let out so I was there prostrated before the entire student body with my weakness bared. That is hilarity and that is a moment in my life that I shall remember forever and laugh about.
So, that's my story for the day. Like I said, it was a good day. When she said "no" to me today, it reminded me of every bit of emotion that I had for every girl whom I took one look and commited to memory. Their names, well, I don't want to put them in the spot, but their initials are KGA, MVO, MBN. To the girl who said "no" to me today, I say many thanks. You showed me a big part of me that I haven't seen in a long time. Her initials...BC. Thanks a bunch.=D

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